Why does our mind seem to always dwell on the negative?
As long as we live, of course, we have experienced various events. Sad, funny, happy, embarrassing, disappointing, mind-blowing experiences, all those experiences built us into who we are today.
Let's say, you are giving a presentation for your assignment in front of the class. Two of your friends gave good feedback ("Your chose of the topic is great!"; "We could hear you clearly and you are able to attract our attention"). Meanwhile, one of your friends gave bad feedback ("Your PowerPoint looks like it’s made by a middle schooler. Can you learn how to design a good PowerPoint first?"). I'm sure you are more likely to remember that one bad comment. The bad comment is irritating. I bet it will be the one you'll think about the first thing you wake up the next morning, lol.
Even when I ask you to remember things from the year 2020, the first things that will come to your mind are the bad ones (The coronavirus happened and you cannot go outside due to the lockdown, etc.). You forget about how you and your family spend more time together and talk about a lot of things, or how you learn some cool stuff because you have more free time.
But, why people seem to get stuck on the negative way of thinking?
Our tendency to give more attention to negative experiences more than positive experiences is called Negativity Bias. Because of it, negative thoughts and experiences is having a stronger place in our mind more than the positive.
Why do we have this Negativity Bias?
Our ancestors develop this way of thinking a thousand years ago, it's a kind of survival instinct. When you live in ancient times and are looking for food in the jungle, of course it will be more useful if you can remember where a lion usually hides compared to the color of the butterfly that landed on your hand at that time. It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective that our minds are built to look for negative information and hold on to it once we find it. Negativity Bias is actually very useful when you live in a dangerous situation or environment.
But now, as we live in a safe and comfortable environment, this negative bias is a bit get in the way for us to improve ourselves. It makes us overlearn from what's bad and learn less from what's good. This makes us feel insecure and only focus on our weaknesses. It can stay within our minds and manifest in the form of sadness, depression, or anger. We should keep in mind that we can also grow by remembering the good things we do and developing those good things. We will also be happier and more grateful for our lives by remembering those good memories.
In order to think more positively, we need to see things from the bright side. We can’t just assume our mind is going to do that automatically, since our brain still wired to this negativity bias. Maybe we can shift our way of thinking by spending few minutes each day thinking about small or big things we are grateful for. We need to put effort into truly valuing all the good and positive aspects of our life so that we are not overcome by the negative. I believe we can have happier and more meaningful live this way.
~ Cyrilia.
“Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
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